You’re probably wondering what a publication like Rush is doing writing an article about a 2.5-tonne luxury SUV. Well, it’s because this is a driver’s car. Hear me out; a driver’s car firmly falls into one of two categories. The first is a car that makes you want to drive it, and the second is a car that’s meant for a driver - the gloves and a hat, "call you sir/madam" type.

Bentley has a long-standing tradition of building vehicles that are a blend of performance and craftsmanship. Founder W. O. Bentley once said, “We were going to make a fast car, a good car, the best in its class,” and he meant it. You don’t win Le Mans four times on the bounce (1927-1930) with just any old machinery. In recent years, Bentley has continued that mantra by building lavish luxury vehicles that remain driver-focused, with mainstays like the Continental GT and the Speed model lines. Market forces inevitably meant an SUV had to appear in the line-up, hence the Bentayga - a car said to be “a go-anywhere SUV that offers the ultimate in power, luxury, and usability.”

First impressions of our EWB Azure spec Bentayga test car are that they have certainly nailed the craftsmanship, but I can't initially see it as a driver's car. Opening the soft-close door releases a waft of leather and wood that triggers immediate bickering between Craig and me as we fight for a seat in the rear instead of at the helm. You can’t help but want to be driven, but since I’ve programmed the suggested route into the satnav, it’s only right that my "driver," as he shall now be called, takes the wheel.

From the backseat, I can immediately tell you that, even with my 6’4” “freakishly large frame” - thanks, driver - there is more legroom than I’ve ever experienced in anything that moves. The extra space comes from stretching the wheelbase by 180mm. What this translates to is the ability to recline, cross my legs, do a merry little jig, or hold a small board meeting—it’s cavernous.

Then there’s the leather. So much leather. It’s smooth, soft, smells good, and my lord, is it comfortable. The rear airline seats are infinitely adjustable, with cushioning that’s both supportive and squishy. Diving into the central control panel, which is of course removable, I set my seat to the fully reclined position and deploy the front seat’s drop-down footrest. I didn’t think you could be more comfortable.

That is, until I discover the myriad of "wellness" massage settings and close the blinds. Now, we are motoring. This all might sound gimmicky, but it just isn’t. You find yourself sitting back, admiring the view, and simply lapping up the experience. It looks after you in ways you can't even fathom. Not only is the seat automatically adjusting my posture, but it’s also keeping me at an optimal temperature. I think I’m going to claim squatter's rights in here; I have zero interest in driving. Why buy a dog and bark yourself, eh?

Unfortunately, my driver is insistent on exploring its dynamic potential, and after adjusting my seat back to the business setting, I allow him to indulge. He’s been informed that his bonus will be curtailed this year if we don’t dispatch anything that gets in our way—be it a tractor, slow-moving commuter, or a bunch of those damn pesky trade unionists.

Even from the rear, I can feel the ride and handling are remarkable for something that weighs this much. It can breathe with even the worst of British roads in comfort, yet in sport, it tightens up and gives you a connection to the road that’s up there with the most sporting of hot hatches. At this point, I’m not sure which of us is having a better time. I doubt anything with an extended wheelbase has ever been driven so sportingly, or anyone has had such a vigorous massage at such speed, but who cares? It’s what W. O. would have wanted.

After 45 minutes of postural massaging and my driver making genuinely brisk cross-country progress, he resigns his duty and tells me it’s my turn. Yes, even the wealthiest of industrialists sometimes have to rough it, and it seems my time is up. The bubble has burst, and I’m back to the reality that my net worth doesn’t resemble a phone number. A brief detour into a service station car park and we switch over. The sumptuous leather immediately corrupts Craig, who offendedly asks, “Mr Dunlop, why haven’t you closed my door?” He is swiftly instructed to close his own door using the button on the centre console—a neat feature which no doubt is handy for those of you with disobedient chauffeurs.

It takes a short stroll to get from the rear to the front of this car, and its 5.3-metre length is very apparent from the outside. It’s imposing, but not vulgar. The body has a blend of muscular lines and subtle curves that work well on something this large. To my eyes, the EWB is a much more resolved design that works well, especially in the suitably opulent Cricket Ball Satin finish.

From the driver’s seat, you’d be hard-pressed to tell the gargantuan dimensions of what you are piloting, but once you’ve got comfy and moved off, you immediately become accustomed to it. The SUV body style gives you that commanding driving position that so many crave. The visibility is good, and in combination with a full suite of driver aids, makes the EWB friendly and approachable.

The four-wheel steering is a game changer, shortening the wheelbase in tight parking manoeuvres and at low speeds, meaning that this dreadnought can be quite agile if needed. Pottering around in comfort mode is completely relaxing. The V8 is a buttery-smooth unit that never feels stressed, and the 8-speed auto helps move you down the road with no drama. Your hand placement naturally falls into place, and you begin to think, why do I need a driver again?

Craig has kindly lined up a section of average speed-monitored dual carriageway to begin my drive. Usually, these sections of road are hellishly boring and frustrating, with traffic never quite managing to hold a regular speed. Flick radar cruise on, set it to 52mph, and you need not worry. The system handles the speed, and the sheer sight of an EWB Bentayga with a driver and rear seat passenger seems to calm surrounding cars right down. I’m relaxed, Craig’s relaxed, and His Majesty’s government won’t be making any money out of this bit of road.

A turn off from the dual carriageways grants me a view of some better roads, which means it’s time to repay the favour to my passenger. A twist of the mode switch into sport and a tug of the gear lever into manual, and we’re away. This process just feels so wrong in something so regal, but honestly, it’s very Bentley. This really is a have-your-cake-and-eat-it type of car - just make sure you use a suitable pastry fork and a tea plate, dear.

Allegedly, this car can hit 180mph and do 0-62mph in 4.6 seconds. You might find that hard to believe until you dip into the vast reserves of power and torque it has. Mashing the throttle pedal brings a minor delay of “Are you sure, sir?” but before you repeat yourself with an assertive tone, it’s off down the road. Surging through the gears, it doesn’t feel that fast until you look down and realise that progress is most certainly being made. Acceleration is comparable to an A380, with the front rising, the rear squatting, and speed increasing at a rate of knots that is hard to fathom. Overtakes are handled easily, and it seems that nothing will encumber your journey. This is the type of performance I’m looking for in a Bentley, and boy does it deliver.

Its 4.0 V8 emits a powerful "whoofle" that isn’t thunderous in tone but instead has a reserved rumble. It’s fair to say that 542bhp has never sounded so classy - none of that parpy farting nonsense, just pure blue-blooded muscle. When the time comes to stop enjoying its aural delights, it’s clear the brakes are as powerful as they are massive. Although the pedal lacks some firmness, there is good feedback, which gives you the confidence to modulate and bring the speed down in a controlled manner. Stability under harsh acceleration or braking is confidence-inspiring; you have a sense that the tarmac is being politely told how to do its job as the EWB muscles it into shape.

Momentum is the overwhelming feeling when you’re driving quickly. The performance is stout, and the chassis handles both it and the undulations of the average B road well. You’re not aware of how hard the car is working until you encounter particularly bad potholes or badly broken surfaces. There’s a firm edge and some shimmy to the primary ride, but in any other car, these roads would be simply ruinous.

The secondary ride is the real star of the show as it collects the car up and settles it with zero drama. Body roll isn’t a problem either; Bentley's active roll control stops the EWB from grinding its door handles along the tarmac and instead keeps it level and dignified. How on earth is it so poised? I don't know, but nor do I care - I'll just keep enjoying it.

There’s a clear distinction in the car’s character across its various modes. Comfort mode relaxes the car and gives it the smooth ride, gentle step-off, and quiet ambiance you would want from your luxury car. Bentley mode is a halfway house where everything is set just so - nothing untoward and a perfect all-rounder. Sport mode tightens everything up and brings out a side of the car that you wouldn’t expect, offering a responsive powertrain, taut chassis, and heavier steering. All three modes have their place. If you’re a rear-seat passenger, you’ll want comfort, but if you’re really wanting to drive, I’d recommend Bentley mode. Sport can feel a little too much on some rough roads, but it’s well worth experiencing when you can.

In a world where SUVs have become all too focused on performance, the Bentayga EWB is a luxury-first approach with all the performance in reserve. This car is an Urus that drinks Dubonnet, a Cayenne that’s had elocution lessons, a Cullinan that made the lacrosse team. It’s all comfort and luxury until you dial everything to sport, and it picks up its skirt and runs with the best of them - a true Bentley in every sense of the word.

From the back seat, it’s a spa-cum-corner sofa with a V8 and twin turbos. From the driver’s seat, it’s a momentous occasion in every sense of the word. A sporting land yacht that will let your chauffeur have more holidays. But I bet that when they get back home, you’ll both fight over the keys.

Bentley Bentayga EWB Azure V8; Stats and Specification

Engine

3996 cc / 4.0-litre twin-turbocharged V8, 32 valves

Bore x stroke 86 mm x 86 mm

Compression ratio 10.1 :1

Output

Power 550 PS/ 542 bhp / 404 kW @6000 rpm

Torque 770 Nm I 568 lb-ft @2000-4500 rpm

Performance

0-60 mph 4.5s

0-100 mph 10.0s

Top speed 180 mph

Weight

2514 kg / 5542 lb (4+1 seat)

Power-to-weight 216 bhp/ton

Torque-to-weight 226 lb-ft/ton

Chassis

Front suspension; four-link double wishbones, with 48V electric active anti-roll bar

Rear suspension; trapezoidal multi-link, with 48V electric active anti-roll bar

Self-levelling air suspension, Continuous Damping Control

Brakes

Callipers - 6-piston front (iron) / 10-piston front (CSiC), sliding rear

Front: brakes 400 mm ventilated iron / 440 mm CSiC

Rear brakes 380 mm ventilated iron / 370 mm CSiC

Steering & tyres

ePAS with speed dependant ratio - all-wheel steering

Tyres FR/RR - 285/45 R21, 285/40ZR22